Round two and panic has set in
The Age
Friday April 1, 2011
PRO-TIPSTER abrilmind, who selected St Kilda, Melbourne, Brisbane Lions and North Melbourne in round one, missing four tips by a combined total of seven points, requested that fellow tipping nuts in his call-centre stage a sit-in to protest at the unfairness of it all. From the cubicle on the right, stripeyroo said: "We're already sitting down this is an office." From the left, doggoner suggested: "If you got nought out of eight, just concentrate on the weekly prizes." "WHO SAID I GOT NOUGHT?!" abrilmind ranted. "I HAVEN'T TOLD ANYONE WHAT I SCORED!" "It's on the net," doggoner said. "That's one of the beauties of Pro-Tipping you can see it all online." "Weekly prizes, eh?" abrilmind muttered.ST KILDA v Richmondabrilmind surveyed every tipping mind on the floor more brilliant than his everyone and found that 99 per cent were selecting the Saints, who apparently had beaten the Tigers 13 times in a row. The clincher was that 99 per cent of Richmond fans were selecting St Kilda.North Melbourne v COLLINGWOODstripeyroo harped on about how the Roos were going to win because they had "stuck it up Eddie" by wearing their own jumpers. He was tempted to pick the upset ... then doggoner whispered: "Doesn't matter if they are wearing pink bibs with purple dots, they can't win."PORT ADELAIDE v West Coast"Port are 9-1 v Eagles at AAMI," doggoner insisted. "Eagles gutsed it out with two injuries last week," stripeyroo urged. abrilmind quivered.Gold Coast v CARLTON"Four out of six first game clubs have won," said doggoner. "GC are just kids, and old guys who haven't had pre-seasons!" stripeyroo countered. abrilmind felt the office begin to swirl around him. "Make it stop!" he whimpered in despair.Fremantle v GEELONGdoggoner and stripeyroo did stop, so abrilmind asked them to start again. "Cats will have a let-down after their war last week v Saints," doggoner hissed. "It's over there, its 35 degrees, Cats are old, they lost there last time," stripeyroo insisted.WESTERN BULLDOGS v Brisbane Lionsabrilmind's oracles were silent, unable to disagree. "Bulldogs?" abrilmind croaked tentatively. stripeyroo nodded. doggoner emailed him: "Lions are so undermanned they're a footpath."Sydney v ESSENDONThe ANZ Stadium clash brought loud debate from the advisers. "The Dons don't travel!" doggoner blurted, "And the Swans are still underrated they won a final last year, for gosh sakes!" stripeyroo said the Bombers had beaten the Swans on the road twice in recent times, and would run through brick walls for James Hird.HAWTHORN v Melbournestripeyroo, headset skewiff, declared the Demons the bet of the round, saying they would run the stodgy Hawks off their legs. doggoner, ducking beneath the partition, hissed that Melbourne was still too frail and couldn't kick enough goals, adding "Hodge is back!" The clamour escalated, and abrilmind found the two tipsters beneath his feet, arguing in heated whispers. Relief and calm settled within abrilmind. He periodically lifted his legs so the combatants didn't knock themselves out. The only decision now was whether to go with his left foot, or his right, a simple binary choice, a yeah or nay. A coin toss.Village Idiot's margins last week were Ricky Ponting's last eight innings. If you can guess this week's, email sport@theage.com.au
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